The End of Mr. Y by Scarlet Thomas (#50, Reader's Choice)

A true procrastinator at heart, I just finished this book not five minutes ago, turning pages like mad so that I would have time to don my New Year's party dress and head out for a night out on the town with Little Hoof and the sister. I am glad I picked this book as the last book of the year because it was in fact a page turner, something that was necessary so that I would be compelled to be able to burn the midnight oil to finish it in time.

Thomas seems to be a new favorite author--I read Popco this summer and really enjoyed the theoretical nature of her writing. Her plots are intricate and you really do want to keep reading to find out what the big secret is. My biggest problem though is the main characters--they are not likable women. Both Popco's and The End of Mr. Y's heroines were strange, weird and without fundamental redeeming qualities. I enjoyed both books about the same though, and it was delightful to actually understand the philosophical principles behind what The End of Mr. Y actually hinges on. What English major wouldn't enjoy a book that was basically an example of Saussurean concepts about the power that language has over the reality that we inhabit. And Derrida, oh Derrida how long it has been. Thank you to Thomas for keeping my literary mind working.

I lament not reading The Girls, as I said I would fit it in to my 50 but 2008 is a new year, a new challenge, and open to many, many reading possibilities. Stay tuned for our recap of a year in books.

You're Not That Into Him Either by Ian Kerner (#49, Reader's Choice)

All right, this book's cover is atrocious. I mean, what woman in their right mind is going to wear the outfit that she's wearing? I don't even know where you would go dressed like that. It appears as if she is wearing a hideous pink shirt coupled with a bathing suit bottom. Is she laying out in the sun? Is she chilling at her house? I do not know. I read this book mostly in the airport and on the plane flying back to Maine, and I must say that I hid the cover from view as much as possible. This is not a book you want to be caught reading! It just looks really stupid, like some sort of Barbie doll manual.

I probably wouldn't have bought this book for myself, but seeing as how it was a Christmas present from my mom, and that it was not too lengthy, I decided why not read it and see why I'm just not that into him either. I had low expectations for this book but I was pleasantly surprised. The errors of my current ways have been illuminated and I emerged from the end of this book feeling very empowered. Don't waste your time on "meantimers" which are guys who you don't actually like but just hang around them in the meantime. All the time you spend with these less than stellar guys leaves you no time to actually find the guy you deserve. It is a waste of time when you could be working on yourself, working on your life, figuring out what you want. Did I need a book to tell me these things? Probably not, but it does help to see it put so plainly and illustrated by so many examples.

I am reading book 50 as we speak. It has 400 pages. Was I crazy picking one so long? Perhaps.

Love Is a Mix Tape by Rob Sheffield (#48, Reader's Choice)

Apparently I have become a glutton for books having to do with getting over people/breaking up/end of relationships. If you read High Fidelity and enjoyed it--which I did--you should definitely pick up Rob Sheffield's Love Is a Mix Tape. The first chapter of this book was sublime. I loved the writing and the pop references, and I made the decision based on the first chapter that I should send this book to my ex-boyfriend. After reading the entire thing though, I am not sure he would really enjoy it. I had a hard time with some of the chapters that were a bit too technical about the music. He also tended to meander sometimes, but all in all, it was a book about a boy who loves a girl. It is about the music that tied them together, the music that formed the foundation for their relationship, the music Renee left behind for him when she died suddenly of pulmonary embolism.

Reading this book made me want to go back and catalog all my mix tapes (well--cds because no one really makes mix tapes anymore) and see what the songs are that made up my time with Andy. I found it extremely touching when Sheffield would write about the songs he heard after Renee had passed that he wanted to share with her because he was sure she would like them. Music really is an integral part of a relationship, especially when you share the same musical taste. It really is exciting and fun when you find a song that you love and that you really want to share with the other person because you know full well that they will love the song too. Andy once described to me the time he found the song Dark Blue by Jack's Mannequin--how excited he was to share it with me, how he played it over and over again at his computer so that it would be on when I came home from work. He was positive that I would like it and I did.

Only two more books left. The scary thing is that there are only four days in which to read these two books. One false move, one bad pick and disaster could strike. Any book chosen this late in the game has to be read fully and it has to be read quickly. Now is not the time to pick something stale and boring--you will never finish it in time. Now is not the time to pick something horrible because once you start reading you will have to just keep hacking away at it--there is no time to turn back once the spine has been cracked! I haven't made a commitment to my 49th book yet but I will be flying back to Maine for most of the day so that gives me ample time to get through whatever book I choose.

The Lost Memoirs of Jane Austen by Syrie James (#48, Reader's Choice)

I really think at some point I need to delve into my psyche and figure out what it is about me that makes me such an aficionado of authors such as Austen, Dickens and Dumas. What is the common theme that ties them together? Is it the language they use? The formal, yet satirical prose? The three authors tackle very different themes, but somehow they evoke the same feeling in me. Enough rambling.

I love Jane Austen. You've heard this before. I don't know if I would enjoy her so much if it hadn't been for Karl. Maybe he made me think it was okay to like her so much, I mean, come on, he's a dude and she is one of his favorite authors! She writes about women, and love stories, right, what is so extraordinary about that? Her writing, her dialogue, her characters--they are all amazing.

If you didn't know yet, the "Lost Memoirs" is a work of fiction by a women who, like me, is fascinated by Jane Austen and wanted to fill the void that having only six completed novels leaves. The book was entertaining, it was full of actual facts about Jane Austen's family, friends, and whereabouts in the early 19th century, but the story is fictional. Syrie James writes as Miss Austen, trying to carve out what Austen lovers everywhere would like to think was her real love life and the inspiration for her books.

It fell short. But, really, how could it not? Ms. James tries to write as Austen, which basically made me feel like I was reading bits and pieces of each of her novels thrown into one pot. It had the feeling of plagiarism, and I am not saying that it was, but when you are trying to write a fictional memoir based on history and already written novels, how else could it turn out?

I can guarantee you that the beginning of 2008 is going to be dedicated to re-reading each Austen novel. Maybe then I will have the answer to what exactly it is about Austen's books that I find so exceptional.

The Accidental by Ali Smith (#47, Reader's Choice)

I feel like I am back in lit class after reading this book. An impulse purchase one snowy afternoon from the book store on Exchange Street after a fruitless search at the library, I unknowingly grabbed what will soon be the next post-post modern novel. I started this on the short plane ride to JFK and then spent my three hour layover struggling through the first half. Somewhere in my labors I had a realization about who Ali Smith echoes--Don DeLillo's White Noise. If only I was still in college--oh the paper I could write comparing the two. The English professor father, the troubled children, the father/mother relationship, the family dynamic, the isolation, the outsider/intruder and that would be just scratching the surface.

Did I like this book? Not really. Did it challenge me in a way that I haven't been challenged in a while? Absolutely. I found myself picking it apart, analyzing the characters, trying to figure out what it all really meant. What really happened? The writing is cryptic yet vivid, strange yet average. The four narrators have distinct narrative voices and they each go through something important as a result of their interaction with "the accidental." I almost want to read it again, because I know I will get it a little more. I will see something I didn't see in the first cursory read. It would almost be like being back in college, reading the second time through a novel looking for connections, for details, for pieces that will fit with other pieces and make a statement. I miss those days.

The Magician's Nephew by C.S. Lewis (#47, Reader's Choice)

Turns out I am a big fan of C.S. Lewis. But honestly, would I ever dislike a book that included talking animals? I think not. I love his characters--they are real, funny, flawed, and even the evil characters make me laugh.

I haven't read The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe in some time so I couldn't say which one I enjoyed more. Although, I would probably have to say it wasn't The Magician's Nephew, I liked it plenty, but I don't think the adventures were quite as exciting as those in The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe.

I always come up short when it comes to "getting" the religious implications of a book. Clearly, C.S. Lewis is known for his biblical references, and, yes, I did notice that Aslan calls the humans "Son of Adam" and "Daughter of Eve" and I was quite aware of the magical apple that the Witch ate, which she clearly shouldn't have. And there was all that Noah's ark type deal of Aslan choosing two of each type of animal to be able to talk. But, what does it all mean? I have no idea.

My favorite part of the book had to be the few chapter's when the evil Witch, Jadis, followed Diggory and Polly back from her world to London. Once in London, Jadis planned to take over the world--very Austin Poweresque. She hits the town telling Diggory's Uncle to procure her transportation, a flying rug, or horse, something of that nature. That is just funny. She causes major chaos in London and returns home standing on top of a buggy, whipping the horse ferociously, with a whole slew of policemen, shop owners, and onlookers following close behind.

You can be sure I will be reading more of the Chronicles of Narnia very soon.

The Rule of Four by Ian Caldwell and Dustin Thomason (#45, Reader's Choice)

The first time I ever heard about The Rule of Four I was sitting in an open air restaurant in Manuel Antonio, Costa Rica. Ah, to be back in paradise--as opposed to here, in Maine, trapped in foot after foot of snow.

People said The Rule of Four was similar to The Da Vinci Code. I agree and disagree. When given a brief synopsis of each the two may sound reminiscent of each other, but in my opinion, The Rule of Four fell quite short of The Da Vinci Code. Clearly I enjoy the murder/mystery genre, which is a huge part of each of the books, but The Da Vinci Code also took place in France. While reading you were transported from the Louvre and through the streets of Paris, I could relate and Dan Brown did a good job of being accurate. The Rule of Four may speak to those readers who went to Princeton, and can follow the characters into the Princeton Library and through the underground tunnels. But I didn't find a story trying to be equivalent to The Da Vinci Code nearly as intriguing due to the dull backdrop of the adventure.

And the end. I am not going to give it away, but I found the end whiny, annoying, and predictable. It was impossible to feel sympathy for a character in mourning when you know there is going to be one last twist at the very end to snap him back to life. Next please.

Colors Insulting To Nature by Cintra Wilson (#45, Reader's Choice)

Colors Insulting To Nature has plagued me for ten days of tortured reading. I am quite unsure why I soldiered on, intent on finishing this disaster of a book. Perhaps it was the fact that I had already invested time in it? That with only six books left and less than two weeks to accomplish our feat, it was too late to not finish it.

I should have known that when I attempted this book two years ago, borrowing it from the library in January and letting it sit on the floor for three weeks, that it was not to be read. The cover is mildly interesting though. And ok, the premise has promise as well, but it felt like I was reading a badly written piece of camp. I have to give credit to that one semester I took Gay, Lesbian and Transgender Studies for even being able to recognize the sheer campiness of the book. I mean, our main character's name is Liza--that should have been a dead giveaway.

I disliked the main character and that she possessed no redeeming qualities. Even with a satire, you need to at least like one character! You need to want them to succeed, to have a somewhat happy ending. This was cardboard crap in terms of satisfying me. The ending fizzled out. The first third of the book was at least interesting, but the rest of the story seemed too fake, too stupid, too Hollywood trash.

Cross by James Patterson (#44, Reader's Choice)

Why do I feel guilty for having two "easy" reads in a row? We never said that all the books we read had to be of a certain quality. Yet, why do I feel like I am cheating when I throw in some beach reads? I keep telling myself I deserve some short easy books, I read the Fountainhead, and Invisible Man, and so many other long and important books. Clearly, I am talking myself into this, or better put, writing myself. Don't judge me for my choices . . . ;)

What does it say about Steph and I--her beach reads are generally cheesy chick books that I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole, and mine are generally murder mysteries. Actually that is how we choose television too. I would rather have to run around barefoot in the snow than be subjected to shows like the Hills and the likes, and she probably feels the same way about all the crime shows I watch. Analysis anyone?

So, Cross. I found it sitting in our extra bedroom and I thought, I like the movies, I like murder/mystery, I will give it a shot. Honestly, it fit my beach read criteria, most importantly I don't want to turn back time and unread it. Clearly, it is not "literature" but it is kind of fun to read about a man called "The Butcher" killing people left and right--at least it made me want to lock the door last night!

The Mermaid Chair by Sue Monk Kidd (#43 Reader's Choice)

I read The Secret Life of Bees almost exactly four years ago. Wow, has it really been that long? I don't remember if it was before, during or after having bronchitis, but it was while I was in Chicago for Christmas '03. Apparently times change, but the authors I read don't . . . :)

Sue Monk Kidd. I really don't have much to say about the book. Was it great? Absolutely not. Was it horrible . . . noooo. It did fit the bill of being able to finish reading it in a matter of hours. It was what I call the classic beach read. In order to be a beach read by my standards a book must have the following traits: 1) Be a quick read. This doesn't mean it has to be short, rather the prose must be quick to follow and I should be turning pages like crazy. 2) There has to be some sort of secret/mystery, and not one that I can figure out by reading the back or the first five pages. 3) Most importantly, I must not want to turn back time and unread the novel once I am done. ie--Prep, Wedding in December, Vanishing Acts--my list can go on and on. I really have become a book snob over the past 5-6 years.

Captain Alatriste by Arturo Perez-Reverte (#40, Reader's Choice)

Quick read. Moderate action. Interesting twist. Good use of history.

Sorry, but those sentences are about as intricate as my brain has been functioning lately. After 40+ hours a week of mindless work at J. Crew, I think I am losing my mind. Quick! I need to get a real job before I lose everything I have gained from my many years, and thousands of dollars of education! Stay tuned, maybe once booknymphs has been successfully completed I can start a blog about finding a job in DC. Yes, DC, here I come.

Captain Alatriste is the first book in a series by Spanish author Perez-Reverte. As I have found out I am a sucker for historical fiction, so when I saw a book that was trying to imitate the style and time period of Alexandre Dumas I had to check it out. Fortunately for me, because of my time crunch, the plot was very simple and rather one dimensional, therefore not in anyway on par with Dumas, but of course I didn't expect that. I may have to check out the next few books of the series and see if the plot and characters can grow on me some more.

Hoot by Carl Hiassen (#40, Reader's Choice)

Guilty as charged. This is another Young Adult book but before you go making judgments, it was of substantial length and it won the Newbury Book Award. This was a quick read but that doesn't mean it wasn't good. While I thought the ending was a bit cliche, I did enjoy it. Hiassen presents a story that is both comical and serious. The main character, Roy, learns to stand up for not only himself, but also for that which he believes in and he teaches other people to do the same without meaning to. This would be a good novel to teach to perhaps a fourth or fifth grade class. It does have a moral background and it does juggle that ever important question of what is right and what is wrong when the line between the two becomes blurred.

I laughed out loud a couple times while reading, mainly because there is a character, the vice principal of the school, who has one stray black hair on her upper lip. Roy fixates on this hair when he is forced to go see her at various times throughout the story and the things he says are hilarious. Last night I had to read a line to my sister because it was just too funny not to share with someone.

Girlcook by Hannah Mccouch (#38, Reader's Choice)

I am embarrassed to have to post about this book. I don't know why I picked it. Becky took one look and announced it's chick lit status. I don't know why I couldn't see that that is exactly what this book was. I guess I wanted to learn about cooking?

This book was bad. It was your typical chick lit. The main character was the requisite twenty-something living on her own and trying to make her way in a big city. She struggles with guys, her career and her looks. It had very little substance and was pretty horrible overall--even for this genre. I could have written a better book without even trying. The fact that they published this gives me hope that one day my novel will make it to the shelves too.

I promise something of a little more substance for my next book!

Cold Comfort Farm by Stella Gibbons (#37, Reader's Choice)

One of the librarians at the library saw me returning and asked me how it was. I answered honestly, telling her that I had not been able to get through it. Then I added that I was trying to read 50 books in one year and the Terror's daunting 800 page count became too much for me to handle when I had about 16 more books to go. She then threw out a recommendation. That is what brought me to Stella Gibbons' Cold Comfort Farm, a satire on the British Gothic novel.

I was skeptical at first because sometimes British novels tend to be overloaded with annoying frippery but this one proved to be as refreshing as the librarian said it would be. I enjoyed this strange little world filled with strange little characters. I mean, who doesn't get a kick out of a character that is obsessed with brassieres and travels around England looking for new ones? I certainly do.

Cold Comfort Farm is bizarre. I was unsure of how to categorize it. I wanted to put it under Contemporary Lit but it was written in 1932 so that doesn't work. I can't rightfully put it under Classics because I feel like it has to be on some list, or at least have more written about it to be considered such. The writing definitely demands an apt reader otherwise all the humor will be lost on deaf ears. It really is a funny book. One character, Adam, cleans dishes with a thorny twig. Another character, Aunt Ada Doom saw something nasty in the woodshed. Do we find out what that nasty thing was? You'll just have to read the book to find out.

Eragon by Christopher Paolini (#36, Reader's Choice)

Yes, I grabbed this book from the Young Adult section of the library. It is crunch time here at Booknymphs and you cannot begrudge me my youth novels. But I will say that Paolini's writing is sophisticated enough for an adult reader to enjoy. I thoroughly enjoyed Eragon. From the beginning I was hooked. It has been a while since I have been able to find a science fiction/fantasy novel that satisfies me to the point where I actually finish it.

Eragon actually smacks of Harry Potter. It is a well-crafted magical world. I read a lot of it at work during down time and the moment my eyes would lock onto a paragraph and I would start reading, I was thrust into a world with dragons, elves, scary creatures called Urgals and magic. It is hard to read at the counter because there are constant distractions but I had no trouble drowning out the phones and even customers while I was reading this book.

I finished it this morning at work, about ten minutes after we opened. To my dismay I found that this is not a stand alone book. The ending is a cliffhanger. There are no answers on the last page; instead, Paolini just gives us more questions. I was thoroughly annoyed but kind of glad that there was a second book waiting for me, and a third one that has yet to be written. These characters, Eragon, Murtagh, Saphira--they are new found friends who will be around for a little while longer. I can't wait to read the next one.

The Virgin Blue by Tracy Chevalier (#34, Reader's Choice)

Maybe if I had given my undivided attention to the Red Sox/Indians game the Red Sox would have stopped sucking so bad, but once again I couldn't put down the book. I tried to leave it at home, but I actually turned around and came back and grabbed it. What is more important, being social or finishing 50 books in one year? Unfortunately I was way too social all summer, which is why I am many books behind, so now my social life pays the price. I will not back down on a challenge.

I picked The Virgin Blue because I really liked Girl with a Pearl Earring. The Virgin Blue didn't disappoint, yet it still lacked something that I can't put my finger on. I guess I have a hard time when a love story materializes out of nowhere, and an even harder time when a marriage unravels out of nowhere. You may be surprised in real life when what you believe is the perfect marriage falls apart, but in a book you are in the person's head, I should have seen it coming. But I suppose I should give the author some leeway when there is a supernatural twist to the book and the unraveling of a marriage fits in nicely with the creepy coincidences.

Sometimes I really dislike the switching of narrators, but Chevalier does it with ease and clarity. Also, turns out I am a sucker for historical fiction. It is always more fun when something could have happened, right?

Outlander by Diana Gabaldon (#32, Reader's Choice)

Probably since about the day I met Steph, over two years ago, she has been eagerly awaiting the day that I read her precious "Outlander Series." She was convinced I would like it as much as her. And the verdict is . . . I liked it, well the first book at least. Unfortunately, I don't think I will ever hold it as dearly as she does. This is how I see it--she read the series back when she was in High School. When I was younger I read a lot of books, I thought The Babysitters Club was the bomb. But if I went back to read it now I don't think it would quite live up to my expectations--because turns out I have a life now and don't really need to live vicariously through Stacy or Claudia or Mary-Anne anymore ;)

Outlander is what I would call a good beach read. I don't think I have read a book since Harry Potter that I find myself thinking about when I wasn't actually reading it. It is one of those books where you really want to know what is going to happen so you just keep reading, even though you realize it is three in the morning. For a beach read it has exceptional writing, but just a little too much soft porn for my taste. Don't get me wrong, I was immediately won over by Jamie and think he sounds like a hottie, but I can only take so many "love" scenes.

If you want to be transported to another time and become fully engrossed in what you are reading, Outlander is the way to go. I am absolutely curious about the continued fate of Claire and Jamie so don't be surprised if the second book of the series pops up on Booknymphs sometime soon.

The Watermelon King by Daniel Wallace (#28, Reader's Choice)

I am a big fan of the movie Big Fish and I kept seeing this book on the shelf at the library. It called out to me and I decided to give it a chance--there was in fact a mystery at foot and I got hooked by the first chapter. Daniel Wallace is a born storyteller. I liked the southern flavor of his story, and the way he used multiple narrators to keep the reader in the dark for as long as possible. Some things he was able to keep hidden until the final revelation, others not so much. I knew who our main character was going to run away with from the moment the two characters met, but the secret of who his father was remained a mystery until Wallace revealed it.

Big Fish is better, but if you are looking for a strange story that is in its own way about the art of story telling, I'd recommend The Watermelon King. Think To Kill A Mockingbird crossed with The Mists of Avalon. An unusual combination but somehow it works.

The Dogs of Babel by Carolyn Parkhurst (#25, Reader's Choice)

I am becoming suspect of some of the books Steph recommends to me. After she gave me Prep to read I should have never accepted another recommendation . . . redeem yourself!!!

The Dogs of Babel had a promising premise--a mysterious death, no witnesses save the dog, and the quest of the bereaved husband to uncover the clues to the truth. But the novel fell very short of entertaining me. The second the husband begins recounting the history of his relationship with his wife, the death is no longer mysterious but has suicide written all over it, not subtle at all. There were a few interesting twists, or better put creepy twists--think dogs getting their throats cut open, which were nicely tied up at the end, I like clean endings.

I suppose the book was supposed to be the journey of a widower back to life. I have never lost anyone (picture me knocking on wood) important, or even semi-important in my life, and I guess I can't relate to the husband. His behavior was irrational, ridiculous, and unsafe and everyone but him could see that--even his dog. I guess I went through the book blaming him for his wife's suicide. She had all the signs of depression or some bipolar disorder from almost the minute he met her, and he never did anything.

It was sad. I don't do sad.

The BFG by Roald Dahl, (#24, Reader's Choice)

I wasn't lying when I said I was going to read another children's book. I ventured back down to the "young adult" section of the library in search of a Roald Dahl book I had yet to tear through. All the classics were there, Matilda, The Witches, James and the Giant Peach, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory--it was hard to resist rereading something that would bring back nostalgic childhood memories. Instead, my eyes fell upon the one book on the shelf by Dahl I hadn't read--The BFG.

Steph and Shawn endured my continually fits of laughter on the beach as I sped through the world of the BFG and Sophie. I think I would group Roald Dahl in a category with J.K. Rowling--how they just come up with completely imaginary worlds and words is beyond me. I am left-handed yet my imagination fails me daily. Not Dahl though, what an amazing, bizarre, sometimes scary, but always exciting world he has created for children.

I like snapping a book shut with a smile on my face. Mission accomplished.