The End of Mr. Y by Scarlet Thomas (#50, Reader's Choice)

A true procrastinator at heart, I just finished this book not five minutes ago, turning pages like mad so that I would have time to don my New Year's party dress and head out for a night out on the town with Little Hoof and the sister. I am glad I picked this book as the last book of the year because it was in fact a page turner, something that was necessary so that I would be compelled to be able to burn the midnight oil to finish it in time.

Thomas seems to be a new favorite author--I read Popco this summer and really enjoyed the theoretical nature of her writing. Her plots are intricate and you really do want to keep reading to find out what the big secret is. My biggest problem though is the main characters--they are not likable women. Both Popco's and The End of Mr. Y's heroines were strange, weird and without fundamental redeeming qualities. I enjoyed both books about the same though, and it was delightful to actually understand the philosophical principles behind what The End of Mr. Y actually hinges on. What English major wouldn't enjoy a book that was basically an example of Saussurean concepts about the power that language has over the reality that we inhabit. And Derrida, oh Derrida how long it has been. Thank you to Thomas for keeping my literary mind working.

I lament not reading The Girls, as I said I would fit it in to my 50 but 2008 is a new year, a new challenge, and open to many, many reading possibilities. Stay tuned for our recap of a year in books.

Magical Thinking by Augusten Burroughs (#50, Nonfiction)

What a great book. If Augusten wasn't gay I think I may have to date him . . . well, if he stopped killing small animals. I don't think I could have picked a better book to finish up the fifty. It is a travesty that this book sat in suitcases, on my nightstand, in a box, and then a bookshelf in the other room for so many months just waiting to be read. But, I suppose everything happens for a reason, or else I may have read a less than par book for # 50 and that would be far worse.

A year or so ago I read Running With Scissors, which I enjoyed, but felt was slightly too bizarre for my taste. Magical Thinking was a vast improvement. Each chapter is a short, witty story about his life--whether it be how he swears his parents abducted him from The Vanderbilt family, or his sexual encounters with various catholic priests. It had me laughing out loud and sharing the especially funny stories with whoever would listen. Read this book.

And I am done. Wow, 50 books in one year. I can remember when we concocted this little plan, probably sitting in Starbucks drinking white chocolate mochas. I know I went through a Debbie Downer phase back in October when I felt like I wasn't able to give each book the time it deserved, but I am glad I did it, and next year I will continue on my journey to read every single book there is . . . well, at least all the ones worthy of my notice.

You're Not That Into Him Either by Ian Kerner (#49, Reader's Choice)

All right, this book's cover is atrocious. I mean, what woman in their right mind is going to wear the outfit that she's wearing? I don't even know where you would go dressed like that. It appears as if she is wearing a hideous pink shirt coupled with a bathing suit bottom. Is she laying out in the sun? Is she chilling at her house? I do not know. I read this book mostly in the airport and on the plane flying back to Maine, and I must say that I hid the cover from view as much as possible. This is not a book you want to be caught reading! It just looks really stupid, like some sort of Barbie doll manual.

I probably wouldn't have bought this book for myself, but seeing as how it was a Christmas present from my mom, and that it was not too lengthy, I decided why not read it and see why I'm just not that into him either. I had low expectations for this book but I was pleasantly surprised. The errors of my current ways have been illuminated and I emerged from the end of this book feeling very empowered. Don't waste your time on "meantimers" which are guys who you don't actually like but just hang around them in the meantime. All the time you spend with these less than stellar guys leaves you no time to actually find the guy you deserve. It is a waste of time when you could be working on yourself, working on your life, figuring out what you want. Did I need a book to tell me these things? Probably not, but it does help to see it put so plainly and illustrated by so many examples.

I am reading book 50 as we speak. It has 400 pages. Was I crazy picking one so long? Perhaps.

Around the World in Eighty Days by Jules Verne (#49, Classic)

I think I may have figured out at least a little bit of why I like Classic novels, specifically novels written in the 19th century, so much. The language. The more formal, big word, non-slang, more correct language they use. When I started reading Around the World in Eighty Days, I was under the impression that it was a more juvenile book, something you would read in early high school and maybe even before, but as I continued, I realized every page was filled with good words. Tenacity, capricious, motley, taciturn, insurmountable, commiserate, blundering, fervent, colloquy, impassable--and this is just taking a quick turn through the pages that I found all these.

The book was enjoyable. Jules Verne created some great characters, funny scenarios, as well as great adventures throughout the novel. I can picture them riding an elephant through India and a snow sailboat across Nebraska. His main character, Phileas Fogg, is pretty hard to figure out. He lacks all emotion, yet he embarks upon this amazing journey on a whim. If I recall correctly, they made the book into a movie fairly recently, that is definitely something I want to see now. I am curious how they would adapt all the adventures how they would cast the characters for a movie.

As evidenced by this being book #49, you can see that I am on to my last book. And it is nonfiction. I actually started one last night that I planned to be my final book--The Cliff Walk. It is a book about a man who is a college professor who gets his pink slip in the early 90s and then cannot find a job. He ends up moving back to Maine, his home state, and doing manual labor. I thought it would be relevant for me because of the position I have been in for the last year or so--unable to find work that is on par with my education level. I got about 30 pages in and either it was too reminiscent to my feelings or just scared me too much that maybe, I too, would have to dirty my hands to make a living. No thanks. I put that down and moved on.

Love Is a Mix Tape by Rob Sheffield (#48, Reader's Choice)

Apparently I have become a glutton for books having to do with getting over people/breaking up/end of relationships. If you read High Fidelity and enjoyed it--which I did--you should definitely pick up Rob Sheffield's Love Is a Mix Tape. The first chapter of this book was sublime. I loved the writing and the pop references, and I made the decision based on the first chapter that I should send this book to my ex-boyfriend. After reading the entire thing though, I am not sure he would really enjoy it. I had a hard time with some of the chapters that were a bit too technical about the music. He also tended to meander sometimes, but all in all, it was a book about a boy who loves a girl. It is about the music that tied them together, the music that formed the foundation for their relationship, the music Renee left behind for him when she died suddenly of pulmonary embolism.

Reading this book made me want to go back and catalog all my mix tapes (well--cds because no one really makes mix tapes anymore) and see what the songs are that made up my time with Andy. I found it extremely touching when Sheffield would write about the songs he heard after Renee had passed that he wanted to share with her because he was sure she would like them. Music really is an integral part of a relationship, especially when you share the same musical taste. It really is exciting and fun when you find a song that you love and that you really want to share with the other person because you know full well that they will love the song too. Andy once described to me the time he found the song Dark Blue by Jack's Mannequin--how excited he was to share it with me, how he played it over and over again at his computer so that it would be on when I came home from work. He was positive that I would like it and I did.

Only two more books left. The scary thing is that there are only four days in which to read these two books. One false move, one bad pick and disaster could strike. Any book chosen this late in the game has to be read fully and it has to be read quickly. Now is not the time to pick something stale and boring--you will never finish it in time. Now is not the time to pick something horrible because once you start reading you will have to just keep hacking away at it--there is no time to turn back once the spine has been cracked! I haven't made a commitment to my 49th book yet but I will be flying back to Maine for most of the day so that gives me ample time to get through whatever book I choose.

The Lost Memoirs of Jane Austen by Syrie James (#48, Reader's Choice)

I really think at some point I need to delve into my psyche and figure out what it is about me that makes me such an aficionado of authors such as Austen, Dickens and Dumas. What is the common theme that ties them together? Is it the language they use? The formal, yet satirical prose? The three authors tackle very different themes, but somehow they evoke the same feeling in me. Enough rambling.

I love Jane Austen. You've heard this before. I don't know if I would enjoy her so much if it hadn't been for Karl. Maybe he made me think it was okay to like her so much, I mean, come on, he's a dude and she is one of his favorite authors! She writes about women, and love stories, right, what is so extraordinary about that? Her writing, her dialogue, her characters--they are all amazing.

If you didn't know yet, the "Lost Memoirs" is a work of fiction by a women who, like me, is fascinated by Jane Austen and wanted to fill the void that having only six completed novels leaves. The book was entertaining, it was full of actual facts about Jane Austen's family, friends, and whereabouts in the early 19th century, but the story is fictional. Syrie James writes as Miss Austen, trying to carve out what Austen lovers everywhere would like to think was her real love life and the inspiration for her books.

It fell short. But, really, how could it not? Ms. James tries to write as Austen, which basically made me feel like I was reading bits and pieces of each of her novels thrown into one pot. It had the feeling of plagiarism, and I am not saying that it was, but when you are trying to write a fictional memoir based on history and already written novels, how else could it turn out?

I can guarantee you that the beginning of 2008 is going to be dedicated to re-reading each Austen novel. Maybe then I will have the answer to what exactly it is about Austen's books that I find so exceptional.

The Accidental by Ali Smith (#47, Reader's Choice)

I feel like I am back in lit class after reading this book. An impulse purchase one snowy afternoon from the book store on Exchange Street after a fruitless search at the library, I unknowingly grabbed what will soon be the next post-post modern novel. I started this on the short plane ride to JFK and then spent my three hour layover struggling through the first half. Somewhere in my labors I had a realization about who Ali Smith echoes--Don DeLillo's White Noise. If only I was still in college--oh the paper I could write comparing the two. The English professor father, the troubled children, the father/mother relationship, the family dynamic, the isolation, the outsider/intruder and that would be just scratching the surface.

Did I like this book? Not really. Did it challenge me in a way that I haven't been challenged in a while? Absolutely. I found myself picking it apart, analyzing the characters, trying to figure out what it all really meant. What really happened? The writing is cryptic yet vivid, strange yet average. The four narrators have distinct narrative voices and they each go through something important as a result of their interaction with "the accidental." I almost want to read it again, because I know I will get it a little more. I will see something I didn't see in the first cursory read. It would almost be like being back in college, reading the second time through a novel looking for connections, for details, for pieces that will fit with other pieces and make a statement. I miss those days.

Animal Farm by George Orwell (#46, Classic)

I end the Classic category with George Orwell's Animal Farm, a book I managed to escape reading through both my high school and college years. Sometimes that baffles me--that certain essential books fall through the cracks of one's literary education. I believe that there is a canon of books that everyone who wants to be considered smart and well-educated should read. Animal Farm is definitely on that list.

I read 1984 a couple years ago at the insistence of my then-boyfriend and found it very chilling, especially when shortly thereafter we went to go see the remake of the Manchurian Candidate and Michael Moore's Fahrenheit 9/11. Moore takes an excerpt right from the pages of 1984 that certainly ring true to what is going on in our country right now. I liked 1984 but if I were to compare it with Animal Farm, I would say that I enjoyed the latter more. It too, pertains to what is going on in the world right now. One key phrase that seemed to be repeated throughout was "If the commander said it, it must be true." I had an English professor at USM who often said that if you say something enough times, people will start to think it is true. Politicians obviously use this tactic in their campaigns and once they are in power to retain power. The animals under the pig Napoleon trusted their leader and therefore everything he said must be true, even though if they really examined what he was saying, they would realize that most of what he said was not true. Hopefully people will still read this book as an example for what not to let happen in the future.

The Magician's Nephew by C.S. Lewis (#47, Reader's Choice)

Turns out I am a big fan of C.S. Lewis. But honestly, would I ever dislike a book that included talking animals? I think not. I love his characters--they are real, funny, flawed, and even the evil characters make me laugh.

I haven't read The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe in some time so I couldn't say which one I enjoyed more. Although, I would probably have to say it wasn't The Magician's Nephew, I liked it plenty, but I don't think the adventures were quite as exciting as those in The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe.

I always come up short when it comes to "getting" the religious implications of a book. Clearly, C.S. Lewis is known for his biblical references, and, yes, I did notice that Aslan calls the humans "Son of Adam" and "Daughter of Eve" and I was quite aware of the magical apple that the Witch ate, which she clearly shouldn't have. And there was all that Noah's ark type deal of Aslan choosing two of each type of animal to be able to talk. But, what does it all mean? I have no idea.

My favorite part of the book had to be the few chapter's when the evil Witch, Jadis, followed Diggory and Polly back from her world to London. Once in London, Jadis planned to take over the world--very Austin Poweresque. She hits the town telling Diggory's Uncle to procure her transportation, a flying rug, or horse, something of that nature. That is just funny. She causes major chaos in London and returns home standing on top of a buggy, whipping the horse ferociously, with a whole slew of policemen, shop owners, and onlookers following close behind.

You can be sure I will be reading more of the Chronicles of Narnia very soon.

The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway (#46, Classic)

It may be short, but it is by Hemingway. I have a very vivid picture in my mind of what Santiago and the boy look like, the skiff, the sea, the shark attack. Hemingway doesn't spend a lot of time on scenic description, but for some reason he doesn't need to. In such a short story he is able to paint a very vivid image in the reader's head.

Santiago is a tough old bird and spends three days reeling in a giant Marlin. He goes pretty much without food and water and has to defend his catch, as well as himself, against hungry Sharks. All his hard work and sacrifice proves futile as he finally docks back in Cuba with only a head and bones of what once was a magnificent catch. The greatest catch of his life, the one he needs the most and he sacrifices the most for, is taken away from him when success is just within reach--he can see the lights of the town as the final pieces of flesh are ripped off of the Marlin's defenseless body. Poor Santiago.

Hopefully his luck changes.

The Rule of Four by Ian Caldwell and Dustin Thomason (#45, Reader's Choice)

The first time I ever heard about The Rule of Four I was sitting in an open air restaurant in Manuel Antonio, Costa Rica. Ah, to be back in paradise--as opposed to here, in Maine, trapped in foot after foot of snow.

People said The Rule of Four was similar to The Da Vinci Code. I agree and disagree. When given a brief synopsis of each the two may sound reminiscent of each other, but in my opinion, The Rule of Four fell quite short of The Da Vinci Code. Clearly I enjoy the murder/mystery genre, which is a huge part of each of the books, but The Da Vinci Code also took place in France. While reading you were transported from the Louvre and through the streets of Paris, I could relate and Dan Brown did a good job of being accurate. The Rule of Four may speak to those readers who went to Princeton, and can follow the characters into the Princeton Library and through the underground tunnels. But I didn't find a story trying to be equivalent to The Da Vinci Code nearly as intriguing due to the dull backdrop of the adventure.

And the end. I am not going to give it away, but I found the end whiny, annoying, and predictable. It was impossible to feel sympathy for a character in mourning when you know there is going to be one last twist at the very end to snap him back to life. Next please.

Colors Insulting To Nature by Cintra Wilson (#45, Reader's Choice)

Colors Insulting To Nature has plagued me for ten days of tortured reading. I am quite unsure why I soldiered on, intent on finishing this disaster of a book. Perhaps it was the fact that I had already invested time in it? That with only six books left and less than two weeks to accomplish our feat, it was too late to not finish it.

I should have known that when I attempted this book two years ago, borrowing it from the library in January and letting it sit on the floor for three weeks, that it was not to be read. The cover is mildly interesting though. And ok, the premise has promise as well, but it felt like I was reading a badly written piece of camp. I have to give credit to that one semester I took Gay, Lesbian and Transgender Studies for even being able to recognize the sheer campiness of the book. I mean, our main character's name is Liza--that should have been a dead giveaway.

I disliked the main character and that she possessed no redeeming qualities. Even with a satire, you need to at least like one character! You need to want them to succeed, to have a somewhat happy ending. This was cardboard crap in terms of satisfying me. The ending fizzled out. The first third of the book was at least interesting, but the rest of the story seemed too fake, too stupid, too Hollywood trash.

Cross by James Patterson (#44, Reader's Choice)

Why do I feel guilty for having two "easy" reads in a row? We never said that all the books we read had to be of a certain quality. Yet, why do I feel like I am cheating when I throw in some beach reads? I keep telling myself I deserve some short easy books, I read the Fountainhead, and Invisible Man, and so many other long and important books. Clearly, I am talking myself into this, or better put, writing myself. Don't judge me for my choices . . . ;)

What does it say about Steph and I--her beach reads are generally cheesy chick books that I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole, and mine are generally murder mysteries. Actually that is how we choose television too. I would rather have to run around barefoot in the snow than be subjected to shows like the Hills and the likes, and she probably feels the same way about all the crime shows I watch. Analysis anyone?

So, Cross. I found it sitting in our extra bedroom and I thought, I like the movies, I like murder/mystery, I will give it a shot. Honestly, it fit my beach read criteria, most importantly I don't want to turn back time and unread it. Clearly, it is not "literature" but it is kind of fun to read about a man called "The Butcher" killing people left and right--at least it made me want to lock the door last night!

The Mermaid Chair by Sue Monk Kidd (#43 Reader's Choice)

I read The Secret Life of Bees almost exactly four years ago. Wow, has it really been that long? I don't remember if it was before, during or after having bronchitis, but it was while I was in Chicago for Christmas '03. Apparently times change, but the authors I read don't . . . :)

Sue Monk Kidd. I really don't have much to say about the book. Was it great? Absolutely not. Was it horrible . . . noooo. It did fit the bill of being able to finish reading it in a matter of hours. It was what I call the classic beach read. In order to be a beach read by my standards a book must have the following traits: 1) Be a quick read. This doesn't mean it has to be short, rather the prose must be quick to follow and I should be turning pages like crazy. 2) There has to be some sort of secret/mystery, and not one that I can figure out by reading the back or the first five pages. 3) Most importantly, I must not want to turn back time and unread the novel once I am done. ie--Prep, Wedding in December, Vanishing Acts--my list can go on and on. I really have become a book snob over the past 5-6 years.

Love in a Fallen City by Eileen Chang (#42, Classic)

I think this was my first Far East novel I have read all year. Steph went through a phase, but it's never really been a theme that interests me all that much. I did enjoy Memoirs of a Geisha, but it was certainly not my favorite novel.

Love in a Fallen City is a collection of short stories written by Eileen Chang, a native of China in the early twentieth century. Some of the stories take place in Hong Kong, and some in Shanghai. I am ashamed to say that I had no idea that Hong Kong was invaded by Japan just hours after the attack on Pearl Harbor in 1941. How did I miss this important piece of history?

The stories were good, somewhat reminiscent of Jhumpha Lahiri's Interpreter of Maladies. Different cultures, but the same ideas between the characters dealing with issues of assimilation, for those from Shanghai moving to Hong Kong, cultural differences, class differences and how all of these factors affect relationships between families and strangers.

Atonement by Ian McEwen (#44, Contemporary Literature)

I am always sad to say that the reason behind me reading a book has to do with seeing previews for the movie but that is what brought me to read Ian McEwen's Atonement. I wanted to know what the horrible crime is that drives the lovers apart. I am also a sucker for movies/books about war.

I had multiple emotions while reading this book. The beginning is so maddening that I wanted to just stop reading it. The character Briony, an insipid little wretch who destroys everyone's life, is quite possibly the most annoying fictional character I have ever read. I wanted to reach through the book and punch her several times. Part One is told from varying perspectives, at varying overlapping intervals that is both aggravating and interesting. The reader knows a lot more than the characters and at times it just becomes too much--knowing everything and watching the characters flounder around and get caught up in one misunderstanding after another.

I enjoyed the book much more after I got out of the disaster of Part One. McEwen's account of the Dunkirk evacuation of 1940 is haunting and without frills. The hospital scenes where Briony nurses the influx of wounded from that evacuation turns your stomach and breaks your heart. Briony is must more the center of the story than either Robbie or Cecilia. They are what makes the story but it is Briony who we spend the most time with and learn to both pity and hate. The ending didn't surprise me, although it would have had I not read the summary out catlike curiosity on wikipedia before reading the actual book. I think I would have been a lot more involved and a lot more upset about the deceitful ending.

I have closed out Nonfiction and Contemporary Lit categories, I have one Classic yet to read and then it is five Reader's Choice and my quest to read 50 books in one year will be complete. There is still a chance I might not make it, there is still a chance a bad pick could upset my progress but now is not the time to doubt my voracious appetite for the written word. It will be done.

An Ordinary Man: An Autobiography by Paul Rusesabagina (#41 Nonfiction)

What is there really to say about a story like Mr. Rusesabagina's?

I saw Hotel Rwanda a couple years ago. Before I saw it I sort of knew what it was about, but only very superficially. I remember my friend Sarah telling me how important a movie it was and how I had to go see it. I didn't listen and waited and waited, sometimes I just have to be in the right mood to see a "good" movie. The thing that is pathetic is that not only was I alive when the genocide in Rwanda was taking place, but I was 14, totally capable of following current events, and I have zero memory of the event. The sort of random thing is that I was actually in South America when the killings were still going on. I wondered if my parents even thought twice about sending me, by myself, to a third world country while such horrible events were going on across the ocean. Did they even know about Rwanda?

The movie left me speechless, and the book did the same. From my memory, as well as the assertions of Rusesabagina, the movie was mostly true to what really happened. 800,000 people, in less than 90 days, that is how many people were murdered. And murdered doesn't even describe what happened adequately, they were butchered, slaughtered and any other more degraded way to say murdered. That comes out to over 5 people being killed every minute for three months. And no one did anything. Seriously?

High Fidelity by Nick Hornby (#43, Contemporary Literature)

Why did I do this to myself? How did I wander to the H section at the library and decide, of all the available Nick Hornby books, to read High Fidelity? Reading a book that ponders the entire nature of relationships and break-ups seemed like a good idea at the time. I thought that perhaps I would learn something while being entertained by a book hailed as "fast, fun, and remarkably deft."

I had originally wanted to see the movie ever since Andy pulled a Rob Gordon, or what I am now referring to as a Rob Gordon. When things ended, both times, he sent me emails demanding to know what went wrong. He wanted to understand so as to prevent what happened to us from happening again to him in future relationships, although he claimed that he couldn't see himself dating anyone else. Ha. If you sense bitterness, you are not far off but that is reserved from my other blog.

High Fidelity is hard to swallow at times, but probably just because it hit too close to home. I feel like my last relationship had a lot in common with Rob and Laura's. It was pretty scary when she said something to Rob that I could see myself saying to Andy: "I want to try and explain this properly. OK, I thought we were bound by one simple little cord, our relationship, and if I cut it then that would be that. So I cut it, but that wasn't that. There wasn't just one cord, there were hundreds, thousands, everywhere I turned...oh millions of things. And then you were more upset than I thought you'd be, and that made it harder..." (273).

Despite my emotional baggage towards this book's theme, I really did enjoy it. I have a newfound love for lists, and might just start making up top 5 lists to entertain myself. I watched the movie and must say that it stayed very true to the book. Hornby is a great writer, knows his shit, and didn't let Hollywood wreck his masterpiece.

Captain Alatriste by Arturo Perez-Reverte (#40, Reader's Choice)

Quick read. Moderate action. Interesting twist. Good use of history.

Sorry, but those sentences are about as intricate as my brain has been functioning lately. After 40+ hours a week of mindless work at J. Crew, I think I am losing my mind. Quick! I need to get a real job before I lose everything I have gained from my many years, and thousands of dollars of education! Stay tuned, maybe once booknymphs has been successfully completed I can start a blog about finding a job in DC. Yes, DC, here I come.

Captain Alatriste is the first book in a series by Spanish author Perez-Reverte. As I have found out I am a sucker for historical fiction, so when I saw a book that was trying to imitate the style and time period of Alexandre Dumas I had to check it out. Fortunately for me, because of my time crunch, the plot was very simple and rather one dimensional, therefore not in anyway on par with Dumas, but of course I didn't expect that. I may have to check out the next few books of the series and see if the plot and characters can grow on me some more.